As a young student, I can still remember what I considered to be the worst punishment in school. It was when the actions of one or a small number of classmates resulted in the entire class being punished for their actions. One classmate would act up, and the whole class would lose recess. A handful of classmates would talk during lecture, and the entire class would receive extra homework. It wasn’t the fact that someone did something wrong and they were punished that bothered me; it was that I was punished for something that I didn’t do and was out of my control. I hadn’t thought about those days in a long time, but an event at my son’s elementary school this past week brought those memories right back to mind.
My son’s elementary school has an annual event to acknowledge those parents who have volunteered time and/or services to the school during the year. They have a “volunteer tea” event in the cafeteria. It is only about an hour, and I think in concept it is a nice way of saying “thank you”. As the person responsible for building and maintaining the school’s PTA web site, I was once again invited to the event. Now, the Volunteer Tea in and of itself did not bother me; instead, it is an aspect of the morning’s events that were a bit disturbing.
Once the doors are opened to the school for the attending parent, each parent is to go to their child’s classroom. There, they are presented with a flower by their child and then they (and their child) leave the classroom to go to the volunteer tea together. I happened to get to my son’s class a little later then others. As my son was coming out, I looked back in the classroom to see a number of other children left behind. A couple of the children had pretty sad faces as well. It was then I realized a couple of things…
- My son was being rewarded for someone else’s actions. I’m not so sure that I wanted this lesson to be taught to my son. He didn’t view this event as much as an acknowledgement of my work as he did a chance to get out of class for an hour, and for nothing he himself accomplished. Nowadays, as we often lament on how are children are being raised in a “me generation”, rewarding a child for anyone else’s actions only reinforces the notion that you can “get something for nothing”.
- Those children left in the classroom were being punished for something they didn’t do. Before I hear someone say “well, their parents didn’t contribute”, ask yourself the following – Is it right to punish a child for their parent’s actions? And let’s not be too quick to judge here; for many parents, job roles and responsibilities combined with being a parent make it difficult (if not impossible) to volunteer. Not volunteering does not make a bad parent, by the way. My parents were wonderful, yet both worked full time jobs. They did make the time to be there for me and my sister, however.
Even if those children left in the classroom didn’t have to do extra work, the fact that they were omitted from attending the event is a form of punishment that was entirely out of their control. As opposed as I am to a teacher doing this to one class, I am even more opposed to all classrooms doing this at one time.
As I stated up front, I applaud the idea of acknowledging school volunteers. With ever-increasing burdens on schools systems, these people often are the difference makers for a quality educational experience. If you want to have the parents attend an event like the Volunteer Tea, then great. Just don’t take the spirit of that “thank you” and tarnish it by making it a reward for some students and a punishment for others, especially when neither the rewarded or punished are responsible.